


The Secret Diary of Ichabod Crane

by Kadorienne



Category: Sleepy Hollow (1999)
Genre: F/M, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-22
Updated: 2010-01-22
Packaged: 2017-10-06 13:29:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kadorienne/pseuds/Kadorienne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The movie as retold in Ichabod's Very Secret Diary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secret Diary of Ichabod Crane

**Day One**

Host has daughter. Yow!

Daughter has large boyfriend. Stay away.

Swoon count: 0.

**Day Two**

Fourth victim. Town elders highly impressed with my techniques.

Doctor moved body. The nerve.

Cauterized neck wound. Ugh.

Swoon count: 0.

**Day Three**

Why couldn't Philipse just _tell_ me the widow was pregnant instead of making me dig the body up and cut it open?

Large boyfriend threw pumpkin at me. Jerk. Had fireside tete-a-tete with host's daughter. Serves him right.

Swoon count: 1.

**Day Five**

It was a headless horseman! A dead horseman without a head! A horseman, a dead one  headless! It's all true! I saw him!

Swoon count: 2.

**Day Six**

Only people willing to investigate woods are me, a woman and a kid. Pathetic.

Brave, large boyfriend got self killed. I _told_ him.

Host's daughter leaned over to give me sleeping draught. View worth getting stabbed through the chest.

Swoon count: 1.

**Day Seven**

Smooth-talked host's daughter after nightmare. Wonder if I'd faint on my wedding night.

Was attacked by giant spider. Servant boy thinks they're harmless. Hopeless ignorance out here in the sticks. Stayed conscious.

Host's wife committing indiscretions with preacher. _Kinky_ indiscretions. That kind of thing is _exactly_ why I'm still a virgin.

Swoon count: 0.

**Day Eight**

Struck out with host's daughter. Bummer.

All suspects dead. In fact, everyone of importance in town dead.

Trying to figure out how to tell Burgomaster that my scientific methods detected a ghost controlled by a witch.

Swoon count: 0.

**Day Nine**

Should have listened to kid sooner.

Saved host's daughter. Sent culprit to hell. Put murdering ghost to rest. I win.

Swoon count: 1.


End file.
